It was around 2am. I’ve been tossing and turning in bed. Because you’ve been on my mind. I picked up my mobile phone and was about to speed dial your number. Old habits die hard. And then I remembered. It’s exactly a year today since you went to a better place.
The various hobbies I use to relax and get my thoughts in order didn’t work. Listening to my favourite songs just remind me of you. The words of the books I tried to read looked like gibberish. I just couldn’t concentrate. Your memory was just strong on my mind. You always found a way to cheer me up. Nothing I could do.
I got out of bed in order to see if I could continue working on my new book but I couldn’t even make a complete and meaningful sentence. It just felt as if the imaginative part of my brain was on vacation. You used to inspire me and make me laugh with your lovely voice. But that’s a thing in the past.
I stared at the clock on my desk and just wished that I could turn back the hands of time. Maybe if I went back to when you were still a big part of my life, I might be able to do things differently. The memory of the mistake I made came flooding back and I suddenly felt Melancholy. I shouldn’t have left you alone that evening because you told me to stay longer than I did. I should have spent a little more time with you instead of going out with my friends. Maybe I could have protected you. Sadly, I don’t have the power of time travelling.
My life used to be interesting but now it’s just dull and rigid. I loved the way your mind worked. You almost always saw the bright side of things. I brought out a photo album and go through all the photos inside. The memories came flooding back and I removed the very first picture of you that I snapped. You looked as beautiful to me as ever. I turned it over to look at the words which I wrote there myself and it broke my heart.
I wrote those four words because I knew it was the truth. Before I met you, there was this void in my heart. But right from the first moment I saw you, I felt complete. I’ve dated a lot of girls before then but it never developed into something more. I couldn’t explain it but when you came into my life, I suddenly felt invincible. Maybe that was why I didn’t listen to you on the day everything went downhill. The last thing I saw clearly before my sight became blurry with tears was those four words.
I’ll always love you.
Oke Adewuyi aka 47's Blog 