Ghost Of A Love Affair

countingducks

” Love me but do not own me: Celebrate but don’t possess me” I see her smiling as she said it;  the last words I heard spoken by her face to face. Off on an adventure, never to return, crushed by a lorry in some freak accident, and silenced for my eternity. A girl who made being fearless possible in my life: who faced down any challenge but intimacy.

I dared to love her but not to use the word.  To thank the stars this girl, who lived for wilderness and open ended questions,  had used me as her anchor and her reference point: “Conclusions” she told me, “Are only for the elderly,”   and yet she would always return to me: we all have contradictions and perhaps I was hers. She would live in any moment, in any life, as long as she was free to leave it:  now she had , and I was left to live without her interest.

“If…

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